I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just sucked dick on a ferry
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
