No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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