my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
