Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
