I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
