we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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