I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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