We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
