I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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