I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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