Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
