I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize
