He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
