But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
