We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
