Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
