One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
