I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
