I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
sex in a hospital.. check
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
