So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
