Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
