It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
