Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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