Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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