i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
is it fun? or sober?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
