I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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