It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
