During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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