You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
