There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
