i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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