Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
