He asked to "fluff my boner.."
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
