discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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