just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Randomize
