so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I can text with my tongue
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
