on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
