please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
