The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
All the doctor said was why
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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