Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Sober January is a disaster.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
