hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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