I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
