Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize