he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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