It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
