This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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