They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
