No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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