Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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