Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
