Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
