hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
