I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
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It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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