im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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