So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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