So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize