Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
