at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
