get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
