Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
