Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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