I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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