I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize