they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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