I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
