i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
