Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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