you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
