i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
