No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
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