Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
